We had a rough evening to our day and I sit here after the kids are in bed and I feel guilty for yelling. I’ve read the books how to stop yelling at your kids and I’m sorry but are y’all human?
I’m going on months of little sleep. My 3 year old has now started to wake up at 11 pm and stays awake til 4 am and then sleeps for three hours. It’s been all week.
This same little boy haunts my existence at the gates and every foot step asking to be held and asking for food. He is fed and loved on lots during the day but its at the point I can’t cook dinner without his little voice asking me for things we don’t even have in our kitchen every 3 seconds and then crying because I say we don’t have it or I’m making dinner.
My older two have been needing to take more responsibility but with cyber schooling demands and us always at home I try not to be so demanding on household chores. But with their Daddy away for work all week staying at hotels right now I need help.
I’ve explained to them that I’m trying not to be frustrated but it’s hard doing everything myself. I need them to clean their toys before bed, make their beds and help me with their little brother when I can’t get to him.
I need them to not throw a fit and give attitude when it’s time to do school work. Legally I have to do it with them. I hate being their teacher this year because I feel like the mean mommy. They do not enjoy it. I feel for parents everywhere taking on this new teacher role. It’s important that we work together to run this house so Mommy isn’t so overwhelmed.
I feel guilty for yelling at them when I was frustrated with their younger brother. They went to bed with smiles, stories, songs and kisses and hugs so they always know their loved. I apologized to my kids because I feel as though owning up to our mistakes are important to teach them. My actions are hard to swallow.
Here’s to starting again tomorrow. Here’s always striving to be a better Mom and not let my emotions take control.
The Seven of Us 