The Seven of Us

Halfway there!

Twin pregnancy is mighty different than a singleton pregnancy. I didn’t even know we called one baby a singleton until I became pregnant with twins! First trimester I felt sick at just 3 weeks pregnant and took a pregnancy test and it was a bright positive. I should’ve known by that, there was more than one baby in there. The nausea and vomiting didn’t go away for months.

Here’s a funny story.. my husband farted and I threw up. He laughed so hard and said it was the ultimate accomplishment. “Fart so good, your wife pukes.” Let’s just say I was not a good sport about it!

He has been nicer about it and will load the dishwasher and tell me to stand back before he opens it if he knows it has a slight smell. He will change our sons diaper when it’s pretty bad so he’s made up for it.

Second trimester has been alot easier on me and the nesting has begun. The bad part is I lack any energy and we haven’t moved yet so I can’t really do anything to prepare for babies until then! I’ve made my lists of to do’s though!

I went yesterday for my anatomy scan of both babies and got great news that everything is looking perfect and healthy and we are expecting two baby girls, Harper and Hadley!

The ultrasounds are more frequent with twin pregnancy and I am absolutely loving it! The ultrasound techs have been very generous with pictures too!

At 20 weeks they don’t have alot of chunk to them just yet. They are 10 ounces each and will be packing on the pounds soon! I can’t wait to share more of our journey with our twins.

Mom guilt

We had a rough evening to our day and I sit here after the kids are in bed and I feel guilty for yelling. I’ve read the books how to stop yelling at your kids and I’m sorry but are y’all human?

I’m going on months of little sleep. My 3 year old has now started to wake up at 11 pm and stays awake til 4 am and then sleeps for three hours. It’s been all week.

This same little boy haunts my existence at the gates and every foot step asking to be held and asking for food. He is fed and loved on lots during the day but its at the point I can’t cook dinner without his little voice asking me for things we don’t even have in our kitchen every 3 seconds and then crying because I say we don’t have it or I’m making dinner.

My older two have been needing to take more responsibility but with cyber schooling demands and us always at home I try not to be so demanding on household chores. But with their Daddy away for work all week staying at hotels right now I need help.

I’ve explained to them that I’m trying not to be frustrated but it’s hard doing everything myself. I need them to clean their toys before bed, make their beds and help me with their little brother when I can’t get to him.

I need them to not throw a fit and give attitude when it’s time to do school work. Legally I have to do it with them. I hate being their teacher this year because I feel like the mean mommy. They do not enjoy it. I feel for parents everywhere taking on this new teacher role. It’s important that we work together to run this house so Mommy isn’t so overwhelmed.

I feel guilty for yelling at them when I was frustrated with their younger brother. They went to bed with smiles, stories, songs and kisses and hugs so they always know their loved. I apologized to my kids because I feel as though owning up to our mistakes are important to teach them. My actions are hard to swallow.

Here’s to starting again tomorrow. Here’s always striving to be a better Mom and not let my emotions take control.

Nanny Nightmare

I have this fear that I think alot of parents have. I have a fear of leaving my children with anyone new.

I have worked out of the home and I was fortunate enough that it was a child care center so my children came with me. I was a director so it easy for me to always have a close eye on them. We are very fortunate for my husband and his successful career allowing me to stay home since our youngest was born. Child care costs for 3 or soon 5 kids would be outrageous anyway!

Pictures from our last snow since it’s snowing here in Pennsylvania today ❄

My daughter is my oldest and she’s 8 years old. In all 8 years I have not left her or her brothers with anyone other than family.

Here I am asking for recommendations in a Facebook group for the area were moving too and care.com for nannies. I’m so uneasy about it. I got messages flowing in offering to watch my kids which is great but it’s so hard.

My family likes to point out that we won’t have help moving 2 hours away. At some point we’re going to need help. When I go into labor I will need someone to watch my three so my husband can be with me. But finding someone to trust before then is the challenge.

Many were not keen on me asking for help if I were to go on bedrest because I would be in the home. To me, that’s a red flag. What’s wrong with me being in the home? I’m still paying for the service. I feel like that’s a way to see how they interact with my children, get used to the home and build a trusting relationship so that if I go into labor I can depend on them to be there all day without issue.

Many have offered their teenage daughters to help. Don’t get me wrong I babysat when I was younger than 13. I fear with the ages of my children, they wouldn’t be able to handle carrying my toddler up and down stairs or ensure he doesn’t attempt them himself. I fear the gas on the stove being bumped and left on without knowledge. For an all day thing I would need someone to cook for them. How would they handle an emergency when they are kids themselves?

This move is full of alot of new. New people, new towns, new house, new doctors, new babies and new challenges. I’m up for it and ready for the change and overcoming obstacles. What are must haves for picking a Nanny?

Anyone else getting snow today? ❄ it’s so peaceful.

It will all be worth it

That’s what I keep telling myself as I’m plodding through the day of kids fighting with each other, cyberschool frustrations, toddler temper tantrums and meeting the needs of my children, the house and of my pregnant body all while my husband is on the road.

In a previous post, I mentioned how 2020 started out with multiple weeks of managing the home without my husband here due to travel. Its funny how we’re starting 2021 the same way. The difference is the end is in sight and it won’t be due to Covid this time.

His new job is allowing us to relocate closer so he can go to work and be home every evening and even work from a home a couple days a week. It was a hard decision to leave family and move two hours away but thinking about it now and explaining to family two hours really isn’t that far and the drive isn’t bad at all.

Many don’t understand that this travel life has been our lives for almost two full years. Our kids talk to Daddy via video call through the week and see him mostly on the weekends.

I admit they’re not getting the best of Mommy either. I’m drained trying to keep up with everything and I have my good days and my ugly. The evenings after I lay them to bed are often filled with mom guilt that I didn’t do enough with them that day. I’m the mean Mommy who makes them do school work instead of play all day. I lose my temper after my toddler stands at the gate asking me for muffins that we don’t have every 5 seconds while I’m cooking dinner. He’s in a stage now that when I tell him to wait, hold on or plain no he freaks out followed by at least 20 good minutes of crying. He’s at such a fun stage between terrible twos and the threenager!

I’m excited to have my husband home again. Our home is under contract and our offer was accepted on our new home. By mid-March we will be together with no more travel. We’re gonna have a bigger house and soon a bigger vehicle to accommodate our 5 children.

A bigger house has been way over due. When I say my house now is overrun by toys, that is a major understatement. I mean there is zero square footage available for toys. My last child’s birthday gifts from early January are kept in the living room because the bedrooms are at max capacity. I’m excited the kids will have more space. With a shared boys bedroom there’s not enough space to put one track together! One of the first things I plan to do is make a giant vtech track in our new playroom for all the kids to enjoy and leave it up for days because we can.

Not to mention my nesting stage is very hard to manage when all I want to do is prepare our new home for our family and our newest babies. The pinterest boards and online shopping carts are filling up with all my ideas!

So the countdown begins til our big move! It’s a lot of work, frustration, distance and complete exhaustion but it’ll all be worth it for our family.

This face perfectly describes my daily feels

Four & Five

My husband and I have for the most part planned all our children. One of his friends called it, “advanced form of adulting.”

We always seem to decide when the baby isn’t the baby anymore, looking like a miniature twelve year old strutting around with their new found 2-year old attitude that we want another baby! So our children are all three years apart.

We decided June 2020 to start trying for baby number 4. The timing was right in regards to the age difference but we were going through a hard time together. Two weeks before I found out I was pregnant we said we weren’t going to try anymore. Too late!

October 2020 I was for sure pregnant. I took several tests just to be sure and I was quite nervous to share the news. I walked downstairs where my husband was on a work call. He instantly took his headset off and said what do we have here? He wrapped me up in a hug and he said he was very happy for the positive test. My nervousness turned to excitement!

The next few weeks he had to travel. I had some very bad cramping particularly on one side. When I called the doctor I was scared. They wanted me to come in for a stat ultrasound to make sure I was not having an ectopic pregnancy. I quickly got my parents to watch my kids and went into the hospital.

I was called back and laid on the hospital bed silent and holding back tears I was so nervous I’d lose our baby. The ultrasound tech did her job and got all the pictures she needed and turned the screen towards me. Here is one baby and here is the second one.

What?! There’s two? Oh my gosh. I have 3 at home already!

I asked if they were healthy and she proceeded to show me two little heartbeats.

Now to tell my husband who was on a plane home but still had at least 5 to 6 hours from being home. He sends me a message just as I’m sitting in the waiting room waiting for the doctor to call.

How did it go?

I sent him this picture labeled 1 and 2.

😐

Twins?

Telling him through message I couldn’t tell his reaction. I was sure he was quite shocked but I cracked up at the emoji he sent.

I got the kids at my parents and told everyone and it seemed everyone’s enthusiasm over our babies went to oh no! Thats gonna be alot. Your gonna have your hands full.

I can understand the shock as there aren’t any twins in our families and I have three already.

Now at 18 weeks pregnant with my babies the shock has worn off and I do think about how I’m going to juggle all of them somedays. But, I’m very excited to meet them. We were given an unplanned bonus baby and I’m already in love!

Living through Pandemic

This pandemic has been both trying and a blessing in disguise for our family.

My oldest son and I relaxing by the lake.

The Summer of 2019 my husband had accepted a new position at work which would require over 50% travel. We discussed it for a while and knew it would be very difficult for a year or two for new project they were launching across all of their manufacturing facilities. He started his traveling around the holidays and it really picked up the beginning of 2020. He traveled for at least ten straight weeks til March 13th the same week the schools had closed here due to Covid-19. During this time I was here with three children, running my cake business on its second year, getting my daughter to tumbling practice and getting her and my oldest son geared up for soccer that was to start a week later. I won’t get too personal with any family on here but I was handling a lot more running around assisting others all while he was on the road. It was alot emotionally and physically for the both of us.

My husband finally had a break in travel and was home working, school was out but online for my daughter. Sports were all cancelled. Cake orders I stopped due to Covid-19. And we stopped gathering with family to keep us all safe. I could breathe again. My family was home and safe and all the stressful running around was done.

Towards the Summer we started to go have small gatherings with family but used precaution. We even made a small cabin trip at the lake. My daughters cheerleading started back up. I coached her squad. I was extremely nervous about the virus but decided to give it a go anyway. I’m glad we did. It was good to see the kids getting out again and socializing which is something we miss again. Can’t forget to mention we took home first place! A proud coach I am!

I decided to cyber school the kids not knowing what lied ahead for the 2020-2021 school year. I have mixed feelings of choosing this option. My kids have been safe and at home but I would be lying if I didn’t say how challenging it has been cyberschooling my kindergarten and 2nd grader this year.

With everything opening back up my husband went back to traveling but less often than before. I started taking cake orders again while managing the cyberschool. We started helping family again.. Why did we fall back into this? It was pure hell.

Surprise! I’m pregnant! That explains the crazy emotions and rise in my new panic attacks I inherited this year. Come back for the next surprise.